Monday, October 18, 2010
been so long since i've blogged.
but this time, its with a heavy heart. i won't hide my tears. i know i've wronged you. We went through so much.. i guess... your happiness just got to me and i would do anything to make you happy. so now there goes my chances. there is no one to blame but myself. like you said, i am the worst guy alive.. its a brand. one.. i intend to remember well. not for me to use it against you if we do be friends again. but rather.. a reminder that i was this lousy and this fucked up.. there is nothing i can do to change time now. everything now is set in stone.. and like u said, i've dug my own grave. i just wish to let you know that i'm truly sorry for what happened... and.. really. i know its just words... words.. which mean nothing now. but.. i always say last msg last msg.. but in truth, i dont want to harass you.. but i just want you to know it really hurts inside. There are no more cards to play. i've told you my biggest problem.. and yet you used it against me... thats just.. so sad. haha. sigh.
several people are trying to change what i am going to leave behind.. they think you don't deserve anything from me.. and that i am insane for leaving u so many stuff.. but.. i think you deserve them. every single one of it.
what am i to you? nothing.
even you smsing me now mocking me.. honestly, i would still be happy that you messaged me.
i miss you terribly.. and i nearly avoided THE "gates". but how long can i avoid? i must go in one day. and leave everything behind. You said you wouldn't remember me and as long as i'm around you wont have peace.. nah. i dont think so. i made a promise... despite breaking it 2 times, i'm going to keep it now. i won't contact you anymore. i just wish that you have a great life.. i am... still not going in yet.. i need some time to buy some stuff and whatnot. you might not ever see this. i don't blame you. i just wish you have a good life.. haha... take care bah. :)
sorry for everything.
Fight on 10/18/2010 08:03:00 PM
