Tuesday, October 26, 2010
ah... a new day.
"I like it like this. I liked having my mom hold me. My dad, too, back when we got along. But now...Squall, you're the one who gives me the most comfort. Comfort and happiness...and annoyance and disappointment, too!"
- Rinoa
LOL. i love this quote. lol.
heh. am playing ds recently.. loving the ro ds and kh 358/2 and miles edgeworth :D! OBEJECTION :D!
well, ro particularly made me choke up i guess.. lots of memories there.. especially with what happened recently. but im okay :). made an archer lol. :X the new job shaman looks cute :).
the dark knight looks damn cool haha. though i've yet to play that or even make that. lol.
somemore recently friends asking me play back RO.. ahaha.. boy do i miss that.. but its damn nostalgic and sometimes painful i guess. need time to heal :).. i guess what they say its true.
no one can kill the pain inside but you. :) its hard. but slowly. theres no rush. haha. i guess blogging helps me better. guess many people think its dead anyway.. :).
what.. doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger :D.
"Rinoa... Even if you end up as the world's enemy, I'll...I'll be your knight..."
—Squall's thoughts on Rinoa's situation.
Fight on 10/26/2010 10:21:00 PM
Monday, October 25, 2010
"A scattered dream that's like a far-off memory... a far-off memory that's like a scattered dream... i want to line the pieces up... yours and mine."
heh. well, The cycle ends once more.. i'm happy for everyone who stood by my side. honestly, i always thought i had no one. and that with my shattered childhood, although i appear okay, i'm not. but i learnt now that.. there are always people for me. i also always thought no one was by my side for me. but i was always there. i hated that fact.. but i guess i didn't see the people here who were here all along. haha. i'm really thankful. this incident has indeed tore a huge hole in my heart.. but i think i can nurse it back well. because of all the support you guys are giving me.
The cycle is endless. love is a gamble. either you risk it.. or you fail. there is only 2 outcomes. there isn't one there hanging like vaguely or whatever. but i've seen the outcome now.. and i accept it. i do hope if you are reading this.. you have a good life. :). But i acknowledge my fault too. :). you wanna say its all my fault.. sure. i accept it too. You've helped me grown as a person. no longer moping and weak. now its strong and good :). we all have a turning point in our lives.. but there are somethings that just don't change to matter how painful things got. :).
these friends are near and dear. and this post is dedicated to you.
... if YOU are reading.. you are probably scoffing at how ridiculous or bullshit or whatever lies i've weaved.. i can only say sorry.
our lives begin anew. A new story, a new chapter untold.
how you hold on to these series of events, is entirely up to you. for me, i thank you and it was a pleasure knowing you. Thanks for being there for me. and helping me realise there were indeed so many people here for me.
i'm glad you probably have a good life too. :). take care ba.
and to everyone who was here.. despite heavy advicing.. nagging.. and everything.. thank you. :).
Fight on 10/25/2010 08:06:00 PM
everything that has a start, has an end.
but yet, everything that has an end, has a new start.
infact, it never ends. and the cycle continues. There is no way to break out. no way to stop it. unless you stop your heart and emotions.
sometimes i stop.. and see my phone for your messages. which doesn't seem to come anymore. but its okay.
we all got to move on.
perhaps in the end, i am your toy after all.
but, at least i was used well.. lol.
You don't need my encouragement ... but i gave u it anyway. i do hope you do well ^^.
... and so it ends,
yet.. so it begins anew.
Fight on 10/25/2010 09:50:00 AM
Monday, October 18, 2010
been so long since i've blogged.
but this time, its with a heavy heart. i won't hide my tears. i know i've wronged you. We went through so much.. i guess... your happiness just got to me and i would do anything to make you happy. so now there goes my chances. there is no one to blame but myself. like you said, i am the worst guy alive.. its a brand. one.. i intend to remember well. not for me to use it against you if we do be friends again. but rather.. a reminder that i was this lousy and this fucked up.. there is nothing i can do to change time now. everything now is set in stone.. and like u said, i've dug my own grave. i just wish to let you know that i'm truly sorry for what happened... and.. really. i know its just words... words.. which mean nothing now. but.. i always say last msg last msg.. but in truth, i dont want to harass you.. but i just want you to know it really hurts inside. There are no more cards to play. i've told you my biggest problem.. and yet you used it against me... thats just.. so sad. haha. sigh.
several people are trying to change what i am going to leave behind.. they think you don't deserve anything from me.. and that i am insane for leaving u so many stuff.. but.. i think you deserve them. every single one of it.
what am i to you? nothing.
even you smsing me now mocking me.. honestly, i would still be happy that you messaged me.
i miss you terribly.. and i nearly avoided THE "gates". but how long can i avoid? i must go in one day. and leave everything behind. You said you wouldn't remember me and as long as i'm around you wont have peace.. nah. i dont think so. i made a promise... despite breaking it 2 times, i'm going to keep it now. i won't contact you anymore. i just wish that you have a great life.. i am... still not going in yet.. i need some time to buy some stuff and whatnot. you might not ever see this. i don't blame you. i just wish you have a good life.. haha... take care bah. :)
sorry for everything.
Fight on 10/18/2010 08:03:00 PM
